two tracks recorded in october of 2015. it rained for the first time in what felt like months. the rain has always felt light to me, even when it weighs heavy on your clothes. some of my favorite memories include admiring a storm much stronger than i am.
i want to smell the rain forever. i want the wind to blow so strongly that i can barely stand. i want to hear it in the trees when i'm trying to sleep.
a short video clip of me working on this piece.
after months of hard work, the new flatsound shop is now officially up and running smoothly. it's been a long time dream of mine to handle my own merchandise. something about having a company manage my merch never felt right. the thought of someone i didn't even know assembling my packages, it never felt like something that really belonged to me. the music, the writing, the poetry, that's all my art but...at the same time, so is everything else. the interactions that i have with strangers and the pieces of myself that i share with them and the stupid tweets and pictures of the sky and now all of this.
i don't know. i just want to make cool stuff for a living, and i'm really glad that i get to do that.
actual updates
- sleep shirts are almost gone, but are already being reprinted as i type this
- flatsound floral shirts are coming back soon i swear
- there's an obscure but very cool thing coming to the shop next week. it isn't flatsound merch, it's more of an art piece
- backpacks are just about gone, but are coming back this fall in a new color option
- sweatshirts are also coming back this fall, along with mugs and beanies hopefully!
the last time april 19th landed on a sunday was in 2009. i sat in my bedroom and recorded a song with an episode of captain planet playing in the background. flatsound had only just started, i was eighteen years old.
i had no idea that six years later i'd be making a living off of writing sad songs like that, songs about missing people. or that soon after recording it i would get sick, and that the world would suddenly become loud, and that i'd stop leaving the house. i often thought of all the things that i would tell myself if i had the opportunity to go back. all those generic guidelines you dream up while lying in bed in hopes that it would result in a better future.
that depression is a roller coaster. that the sadness will pass. that you'll go on to love, lose, and miss so many other people in those six years leading up to typing this. that life gets better.
depression isn't a roller coaster, it's more like losing the ambition to visit the theme park. the sadness doesn't pass as much as it washes over you back and forth like the tide when it kisses the shore. you'll learn to love many people in the six years leading up to typing this, namely, yourself. life doesn't get better, you wake up every morning and find the ambition to make it better. you reach out to people and get help. you try.
thank you to anyone who follows what i do. this week my first album, scotland, i wish you had stayed, is available for free on soundcloud and bandcamp.
i promised myself i'd start going to sleep earlier, and eventually i will, i'm just not there yet. i often justify my own poor habits as long as they feel cathartic. i guess that's the ultimate goal, right? feeling better. i suppose getting more sleep would also make someone feel better, but sometimes it's nice to peak out the window just as the sky lightens and get so excited with what the world is doing that you have to run outside to take pictures of it. it feels nice to be excited.
i took these on a particularly beautiful morning sometime in february. fog and early morning mist are honestly some of my favorite things in the world. i hope you had a great weekend.
here's a quick update! an EP of old songs i recorded 2012-2013 is now available on bandcamp, soundcloud, itunes, google play, amazon, and just about everywhere else my music is normally available online. it'll also be up and streaming on spotify too, just give it a few more days.
this is the first of many neat updates coming in the next couple of weeks. until then, consider listening to these old songs. they mean a lot to me.
- bandcamp
- soundcloud
- itunes
